My Guru & His Disciple by Christopher Isherwood

Author:Christopher Isherwood [Isherwood, Christopher]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Biography & Autobiography, Literary
ISBN: 9781466853300
Google: xX3WAAAAQBAJ
Barnesnoble:
Publisher: Macmillan
Published: 2013-11-19T05:00:00+00:00

Twelve

September 25, 1944. Swami, George, Sarada, and I drove to Montecito this morning. At present, there is nothing to report. It’s just another move. I have a dear little room with a light nicely fixed over the desk, and now all I have to do is finish Prater Violet and get together a book of selected articles from our magazine and write an introduction to it—and pray. Meanwhile, something will develop between Vernon and myself, for good or bad. No use worrying.

Amiya is girlishly happy here. She plans a family within the family—herself, Vernon, me. She’s prepared to make us comfortable, like an affectionate aunt. This is her home now. It is not my home. Perhaps no place ever will be again. There’s nothing tragic in that. To learn to be alone and at home inside myself—that’s what I’m here for.

September 26. Vernon is depressed. I asked him if he wants to leave. He said that he felt “an obligation” to me. I feel as if all our troubles are starting, just as they started before.

October 6. Vernon away in Los Angeles, seeing the dentist. I’m alone here with Amiya. Realize how fond of her I am. It’s so beautiful here. So calm and still. The grounds are three quarters wild, with thick jungly undergrowth, and a creek, and huge rocks you can climb onto and look out over the valley. At night we hear the howling of the coyotes and the quick uncanny trotting of the deer; the deer come right down through the garden, nibbling everything which isn’t fenced in. It is cold and we build huge log fires and sit talking about England and Vedanta and the members of the family. It is very snug.

October 10. Swami is up here again. Today he gave a class, and Krishnamurti came to it. He and Swami had never met before.

(Swami had always been prejudiced against Krishnamurti, because of Mrs. Besant’s publicity-making on his behalf, long ago, in India. As a youth, Swami had been outraged when she announced that Krishnamurti was an avatar. Later she used to annoy Brahmananda by trying to involve him with the Theosophical Movement. As a monk, Swami had had standing orders not to admit her to the monastery when Brahmananda was there.)

However, the meeting today was a huge success. Krishnamurti sat quietly and modestly at the back of the class. And when Swami was through, he came over and they greeted each other with the deepest respect, bowing again and again with folded palms. And then they had a long chat, becoming very gay and Indian, and laughing like schoolboys.

Some of Krishnamurti’s followers, who had sneaked in, knowing in advance that he was coming here—which we didn’t—stood eyeing us a bit suspiciously. But within fifteen minutes we had begun to fraternize. So a small but useful bridge was built.

* * *

It now became increasingly obvious that everything was going wrong between Vernon and me. My first mistake had certainly been to let him join the family so quickly.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.